Are there warning signs in a relationship?
Red flags are warning indications that indicate this person isn’t a good fit for you in a relationship. By becoming aware of these warning signs, you can lessen the likelihood of being in a relationship that ends in heartbreak or dysfunction.
I urge you to keep an eye out for these three warning signs:
Stress over the other person’s habits, character, ethics, and values Does this person act in ways that are detrimental or unhealthy to you, other people, or this person? Do you share his or her ideals and principles?
Questions regarding the nature of your relationships with one another Are there any destructive or harmful interaction patterns?
Apprehensions regarding one’s own psychological and/or bodily wellbeing Has your physical or mental health been worse while you’ve been with this person?
Try not to feel the need to justify your partner or your decisions if you find that many of the following red flags apply to you and your relationship.
Some warning signs in a relationship are:
failing to settle disagreements
You and your partner argue frequently, but you never seem to be able to settle the underlying difficulties.
lack of trust or domineering behavior Such behaviours include constantly checking in to see where you are and with whom, or demanding access to your phone’s passcode before you feel comfortable doing so. These actions demonstrate a lack of regard and trust for one another.
You can’t seem to be who you really are.
With time and effort put into a relationship, both partners should feel more at ease with one another and be more willing to open up. If you aren’t getting more comfortable opening up to your partner about yourself and your thoughts and feelings, or if you find yourself being judged or ridiculed when you do, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.
People close to you are worried about your partner or your connection. The views of others on your choice of a life partner are, of course, not decisive. Even so, they may spot warning signs that you miss. When numerous trusted individuals express worry, it’s important to give careful consideration to their advice.
Instead of negotiating, you’re simply giving in.
Relationships that flourish require both partners to put forth effort. If one partner consistently gives in to the other, the relationship becomes lopsided. It’s not healthy to put your partner’s needs and wants ahead of your own all the time, even if you’re just trying to keep the peace.
struggle to open up about emotions.
It all starts with letting each other in on our feelings. Problems with communication and intimacy are inevitable if one or both partners have trouble recognising and articulating their emotions.
letting go of loved ones, hobbies, or aspirations
A meaningful connection should enrich your life, bringing you greater happiness and a greater sense of who you truly are. You shouldn’t let it make you feel less of a person or less about the things that matter to you. A red flag should go up if you feel your partner would be angry, envious, or critical if you spent time with your friends or family, even if it is usual to spend a lot of time with a new partner in the beginning stages of a relationship (and, thus, less time with friends or family). One such warning sign is dropping out of activities you used to enjoy, like dance class or returning to school.
There is pressure to take things seriously way too quickly.
The pressure to have sexual relations, cohabitate, or get married is one example. A healthy, happy relationship is one in which the needs of both partners are met. Any sign that your potential partner isn’t paying attention to your wants and needs or understanding your hesitation before moving the relationship forward should raise red flags.
behaving dishonestly or betraying someone’s trust.
People have a common understanding that trust is crucial to any successful connection. Some of the most devastating betrayals involve cheating on a partner. Dishonesty or a refusal to respect commitments made regarding sexual activity with others is a major red flag. However, the red flags associated with emotional or online affairs may be harder to spot. Comments like “It’s no big deal” tend to downplay the seriousness of the problem. We only talked online, were just flirting, and didn’t have sex. Having your spouse either not care or downplay your feelings of hurt, betrayal, abandonment, or rejection is a red flag. Be alert as well if they seem to be consistently dishonest or giving you only half the story on other topics. It’s not always feasible to determine if someone is being truthful; use your best judgement and consider your partner’s overall conduct.
any form of mistreatment (emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, financial, gaslighting)
Abuse is a warning sign, yet it is surprisingly common for people to rationalise it. If you’ve been abused in the past, either in a relationship or as a child, you may find it difficult to recognise abusive behaviour in the present. A remorseful spouse or one who tries to convince you that it’s all in your head or that they’re just acting this way out of love could potentially sway you. Minor mistreatment such as being called names, being forced to have sex when you don’t want to, or being told how to dress should not be disregarded. Violence and abuse are more likely to escalate and occur more frequently over time.
an increase in the signs and symptoms of a mental or physical illness
Because of the close relationship between the body, the mind, and the spirit, we experience physical manifestations of mental health issues, including stress, depression, and anxiety. Always keep an eye out for changes in your health as well as changes in your feelings of anger, resentment, fear, and stress, and ask yourself if they might be related to your relationship.
What makes us disregard warning signs?
Here are six typical justifications for ignoring warning signs: Several of these factors are usually interrelated.
When you fall in love, your body releases a rush of chemicals that give you a happy, giddy feeling. Because they stimulate your brain’s pleasure centre, these chemicals make you feel fantastic, similar to being on a natural high, but they also impair your judgment. You start to have trouble focusing on anything else but your new partner; you look forward to spending every waking moment with them, and it seems natural to uproot your life and marry someone you’ve known for all of a month in Las Vegas. These potent hormones help you feel more connected to your new mate and produce a strong attraction that is difficult to resist. You’ll have a hard time noticing red flags or realising that your spouse has defects because of how amazing they make you feel, how attached you feel, and how much you love them.
Our pace is too high.
For six to twelve months, a person is in the midst of the infatuation phase, during which their brain is dominated by feel-good and romantic chemicals. It’s already difficult to recognise the warning signs when your brain is being overwhelmed by chemicals, so if you add further entanglement with your new partner (by moving in together, getting engaged or married, having a baby, getting a pet together, or combining your finances), it only gets harder. It’s possible that your unconscious mind is blocking out the red flags because of your persistent state of denial. Even if you do manage to spot them, you may already be too far in to make a retreat. Avoid such pitfalls by dating for at least a year before making such major decisions.
We can’t break out of our idealistic rut.
Idle fantasies can keep you awake at night. Because you are hoping against hope that it will work or because you are hoping against hope that your partner will change, you are choosing to ignore the warning signs. What’s stopping you from recognising the relationship for what it truly is is your own idealisation of what it is or could be.
It’s not in our nature to readily concede defeat.
No one enjoys having to face the music and admit they were incorrect about a relationship or a person’s character. Pride and the fear of failure can keep people in a problematic relationship.
We don’t believe in ourselves.
The fact that we don’t believe in ourselves is a major contributor to overlooking warning signs. Perhaps you have a gut feeling that something is off, but you decide to press on anyhow. Or you can tell yourself that you’re overreacting or only seeing the negative aspects of your spouse or relationship, even if you have hard evidence to the contrary. As soon as you do that, you compromise your own sense of integrity and the truth.
These red flags don’t appear to be huge problems.
A second sort of treachery is ignoring warning signs. Making excuses for someone’s bad behaviour is natural when you’re in love with them or sincerely want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Dysfunctional relationship dynamics and abusive behaviours, as I mentioned earlier in this essay, tend to grow as relationships progress unless genuine attempts are made to rectify them. Warning signs can be subtle, but they should not be ignored, especially if they are part of a larger pattern of conduct that is disrespectful, hurtful, or otherwise harmful to the relationship.
I’m hoping this post has given you a better understanding of warning signs in relationships and the factors that can cause people to ignore them. You can learn more about yourself by making your own list of red flags in romantic relationships.