Where Does the Pain of a Breakup Come From?
Breaking up with someone can really hurt. It means the close relationship is over, and all your plans together don’t matter anymore. It can be hard to get used to living without that person.
Many people who get dumped feel worse when they try too hard to get over the breakup or win their ex back. This is because of feelings of lack inside. A lack of love, and a lack of feeling accepted and liked by someone, can make the breakup really painful.
When someone feels empty inside, it’s tough being alone without anyone’s attention or support. They start wanting their ex’s love and affection even more. The emptier they feel, the more they crave attention. So the pain of the breakup becomes stronger.
Chasing after someone tends to make us want them more and feel emptier faster, right? Because we want to fill up what’s missing the most. After feeling empty, we try filling the void with even more things like attention and affection.
How to Feel Better After a Breakup
A scientist named Dr. Bruce studied how breakups affect self-image. He found people who like themselves better can adjust easier to the end of a relationship. They can also adapt healthier to other tough life changes.
Right after a breakup or divorce, most people feel: sad their relationship is over, worried what others think, scared of the future alone, lonely and angry at their ex. But there are things you can do to feel better:
Spend time with people who boost your confidence instead of bring you down. Think about your good qualities without being too hard on yourself. Make small changes in your life through goals you set, like learning something new. Achieving mini-goals will show yourself you can succeed and feel proud.
Breakups hurt, but you have the power to feel better by focusing on yourself in a positive way. Your worth isn’t defined by one relationship, and with time the pain will fade.