How to Get Over a Breakup
Going through a breakup is never easy. Even relationships that seemed perfect can hit rough patches and end. Here are some tips for moving on after a broken heart.
For some people, trying to work things out with an ex may help. Talk to them about how you’re both feeling and see if there’s a chance to patch things up. Just be prepared in case they’ve made up their mind already. The important thing is that you’ll have closure instead of always wondering “what if.”
Let Go of Memories
It’s normal to feel sad when memories of good times with your ex pop into your head. But those memories can make it hard to move on too. Psychologists have studied how our brains hold onto memories. They found we tend to remember things that caused really strong emotions, like the happiest or saddest moments. For a breakup, your brain might fixate on the fun times just before you split up.
The key is giving yourself permission to make new memories. Spend time with friends making new inside jokes. Pick up a hobby you can look forward to each week like learning an instrument. Over time, happy present-day experiences will drown out memories of the past.
Set a Deadline
Your brain will also remember things less if it feels “finished” with them. Decide on a date, like two months from now, when you promise yourself you’ll be over the breakup. Tell yourself each day you’re one day closer to moving on. Visualizing that deadline will help your brain rewire itself to stop dwelling on what’s over.
Don’t sit at home ruminating about your ex. The more distracted you are, the quicker old feelings will fade. Join a sports team, pick up extra shifts at work, or plan trips with friends on weekends. Staying active will tire out your brain so it doesn’t have energy left to miss your ex.
Breakups are tough, but with time and effort, the pain does lessen. Be kind to yourself as you heal. Try out these strategies, and remember – in a few months you’ll be in a much happier place.