How to Handle Arguments with Your Girlfriend
Fights and disagreements are pretty normal in relationships. But knowing how to deal with a tiff with your girl can take some skills. Good communication is key to working it out, so here are some tips that really help.
Be a good listener
When you’re in a fight, the first thing you gotta do is listen to her side. Don’t interrupt – let her get all her thoughts and feelings out without bugging in. This shows you respect what she’s saying and makes her feel heard, which takes some of the edge off.
For example, while she’s venting you could say something like “I understand you’re upset, go ahead and tell me what’s bothering you.”
Share your feelings too
As well as listening to her, you also need to speak up about how you’re feeling. Be real about what you’re thinking and feeling, but start with “I” so it’s not accusing.
For example, you could say “I’m bummed because it seems like we aren’t connecting lately.” That helps her see where you’re coming from too.
Look for common ground
When you fight, trying to find things you agree on is a good way to lower the temperature. See what goals or interests you share, and point those out.
For example, say something like “We both want our relationship to work out smoothly, so we should team up to solve this.” Focusing on your similarities calms things down better than differences.
Offer a solution
Fights aren’t just about blowing off steam – you need to solve the actual problem too. So pitch an idea to fix it when talking it through.
For example, suggest “Maybe we could schedule chat times each week to air anything on our minds.” That gives a plan of action to resolve issues.
Respect each other
No matter how heated things get, keep the respect flowing both ways. Don’t say mean things or insult – stay cool-headed as much as you can.
For example, you could say “I hear you out, but I’d like to talk through this nicely if possible.” Handling it respectfully avoids making it a bigger fight.
Compromise where you can
To solve problems in a fight, you’ll both need to bend a little. Seeing eye-to-eye takes give-and-take from both sides.
For example, offer “I’m willing to try your way if you’ll consider my view on it too.” Balancing needs finds the best solution.
Apologize when you slip up
If you realize you were wrong about something, fess up to your mistake. Say sorry genuinely and own what you did wrong.
For example, say “I’m sorry I said things to hurt you – that was uncalled for.” Admitting fault helps make up and rebuild trust.
Listening, sharing feelings, finding common ground, offering solutions, mutual respect, compromise when possible, and apologizing sincerely – these communication skills really help work through arguments with your girl in a healthy way. Good communication is the key to understanding each other better and solving issues, which leads to a strong relationship.