Why Do Some People’s Relationships Never Last?
Have you noticed that one of your friends seems to jump from one short relationship to another? It’s not that they’re a bad person, but their relationships just never seem to last very long. I’m going to explain some common reasons why someone might have trouble maintaining a relationship.
Being Too Replaceable
One big reason is that their partner sees them as too “replaceable.” If you focus all your attention on constantly messaging, hanging out, and pleasing your partner, they’ll start to feel like you’re not unique. Responding to texts right away, paying attention to their every move, and always wanting to be together seems passionate at first. But it actually makes the relationship harder to keep going long-term.
The problem is that someone else could probably do all those same things for them. Your partner might start to feel like they don’t truly need you because anyone could fill that role in their life. To last, your partner has to feel like you bring something special and irreplaceable to the relationship.
Many relationships fizzle out because the couple falls into a boring routine. Their dates are always the same – just eating and watching movies. When they’re together but not on a “date,” they run out of things to talk about. Following this kind of repetitive pattern is a recipe for the relationship to fail after just a few months. No one wants to be in a relationship that feels like the same old thing every day!
Focus on Yourself Too
The best way to have a relationship that lasts is not to cling to your partner or make them the center of your world. That just leads to being needy and insecure. Instead, focus on having your own life and interests too. Keep working towards your goals, spending time with other friends, staying active and healthy. This makes you an independent and well-rounded person that your partner will admire.
Give your partner space sometimes instead of smothering them. A good relationship is about both people enhancing each other’s lives, not draining all their energy. Each person should dedicate about a third of their time and attention to the relationship – that leaves plenty of room for your own hobbies and careers too.
To really have lasting love, your partner needs to feel like they couldn’t find anyone else quite like you. That means constantly improving yourself. Develop unique experiences, skills and hobbies. Have great conversations where you share your hopes, dreams and feelings in a way that draws your partner closer. Make your partner proud to have such an awesome person by their side.
If they know many others are interested in you too, but you’ve chosen them, it will make them treasure you even more. So focus on being your best self – not just for your partner, but for you too. When you truly love and respect yourself, you’ll create a relationship built to last.